April 4

I have had so many thoughts I don't know where to begin. Tanner was able to get a room with a view of the valley. The weather has been interesting to say the least. He spent some time Friday night on the 3rd floor patio since the weather was warm and then Sunday morning I drove in snow passing some cars with 8+inches of snow on them. On the drive down on Saturday night. I witnessed a crash on the other side of the freeway, It was almost like slow motion. I saw a car hit the barrier and debris come over it and it took a second to realize what was happening. Then I looked in the mirror and saw the car spinning across the 4 lanes of traffic. I never did hear on the news what the outcome was but it made me think. As you are traveling 80 miles and hour what can happen and how will I react??? With the events of the last week with Tanner being so sick and the passing of Kim, It made me realize, that we are here but a short time, and sometimes there are circumstances beyond our control. As I came into the ICS Saturday night, I couldn't help but feel comfort in the familiarity of it all, the faces of the staff were the same, and was greeted as if I were an old friend returning home. Before I could get to Tanners room I was asked how he was today and if he was doing better. I never cease to be amazed at the staff and the bond they develop with patients and families. I wanted to share an observation a made today. As you know there is nothing more difficult than to have a child who is sick and there is nothing you can do to help them, simply sit at their bedside and be there with them. Last Sunday I was planning on spending Sunday and Monday with Tanner. His first chemo treatment was Sunday morning and he became extremely sick very fast, Kristi informed me that she was not going to leave, but would stay with him. Only a MOM could understand this. The second hardest thing I have had to experience is the separation of our family for extended periods of time. While we may talk and text several times during the day, Lets face it there is noting like a genuine hug when we may be having a difficult time. Today as I was visiting with a parent while doing laundry, it occurred to me what my sweet wife does while she is here with tanner. She is the one that others look to for strength. As I visit with these other parents it is oblivious that not only is she here to be a Mom to Tanner but as a support to others who are struggling just as we are. Take a moment and reread her last post, which was a tribute to Kim, and you will see what i mean. Tanner is doing great since he finished treatment in Thursday, of course this is all relative. He has been eating good, hopefully his recovery will be uneventful and he can move on to the next phase . As always The fasting and prayers on his and my families behalf are needed, welcomed and appreciated. I hope my thoughts made sense. Robert