Our Gift

This was a gift from a dear friends of our family. It was created by a local artist named Doc Christensen. We had thought of having one made for Tanner a year ago, but never got around to it. It is entitled "Armour OF God". And the symbolism Comes from D And C 27:15-18

Breastplate represents righteousness

shield represents faith
helmet represents salvation
sword represents the spirit of Christ

I still cannot comprehend the support we have received both in the previous weeks and days. While we move ahead the tears still flow easily. I have been trying to come up with words to describe my feelings of the last days but simply cannot grasp any to convey my thoughts.

Continued thanks

Robert

Beautiful tribute to Tanner

A dear family friend wrote this beautiful tribute to Tanner.
Thank you Kiel.

http://kiel-thenormalone.blogspot.com


http://kiel-thenormalone.blogspot.com/2011/05/mile-stones.html?spref=fb

Some thoughts

Words cannot describe the feelings I have felt over the last week. Probably the best way to describe it is by simply saying I have been carried spiritually. I was able to do some things I never felt I would be capable of. On Thursday night I was a little taken back at the number of people who came to visit the mortuary, but on Friday as we arrived at the church early for some family pictures, I couldn't help but notice the overflow chairs set up in the chapel. I thought to my self, I think they went over board. When I stood at the podium to share my thoughts about Tanner over the last 6 Months, To my surprise the seats were filled. Talk about overwhelming. To think that Tanner had affected that many people. It was a wonderful 2 days. And an amazing tribute to Tanner.

As I pondered over the last days, I can't help but think how truly blessed we have been. We were able to spend 7 hours with Tanner when he was still aware and with us. He was not in pain and he had made his decision to accept the inevitable. What a comfort it is to know he is finally at peace and will not have to endure pain any longer. The other blessing That has occurred to me is we live 1 block from the cemetary. We can visit at will and remember what an amazing example he was.

It is hard to believe it has been six month's since this latest trial began. It had began to be normal to spend life as a single parent and have phone conversations with Kristi regarding everyday matters. I cannot describe how it feels to be together again. However there is this huge hole in my heart that just aches from the emptiness. I cannot describe what it felt like to walk out of the hospital the last time, to make that drive home and to sit at the dinner table with an empty chair next to me.

Yesterday, Alex (Tanners best friend and adopted son) came with me to clean out our apartment is SLC. I went back to PCMC to return a book to Andrews mom (It was simply and excuse to visit). It was a little difficult to enter due to the memories.
Andrew is in the same room as Tanner was. We had a great visit and couldn't help but feel the presence of Kim and Tanner watching over him.

When I checked the blog of Ashly Duke yesterday morning, My heart jumped as I read she was going to get the transplant she so desperately needed. It was scheduled for yesterday. As I checked last night for updates, things seemed to be going well. Her Heart had stopped twice and they were able to revive her both times. But as they were close to being finished It stopped once again and finally this evening we we received confirmation that she did pass away. It is so sad that it took this long to get her to this point, only to be to weak to compete the transplant. I know the lord will bless the Duke family, they are amazingly strong, but still doesn't make it any easier

Thank you for all the prayers and support that has been extended to my family over the last weeks.

Love
Robert

Tanner left this mortal existence on Saturday May 14, 2011 at Primary Children’s Medical Center after a courageous and valiant battle against AML Leukemia. Tanner is the son of Robert and Kristi Smith of River Heights. He was born on December 20, 1991 in Logan, Utah.
In his Youth he participated in Power Tumbling where he competed in National Championships. He also played competitive soccer. Tanner was baptized and confirmed a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints on January 1st, 2000, the first day of the new Millennium. At the age of 14, Tanner earned Rank of Eagle Scout. In his Sophomore year of high school, Tanner found what he enjoyed most, being the Logan High Mascot. As part of those duties he visited all of Logan City’s elementary schools promoting reading. It was during this time that he was initially diagnosed with his first cancer, Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma. His goal was to return as Grizzwald, which he accomplished. Tanner graduated from Logan High School in 2010. After his graduation he worked at Lee’s Market Place full time, while preparing to serve his mission. On November 10th, 2010 he received his call to serve in the Louisiana Baton Rouge, mission. A call which he wholeheartedly accepted. He was eager to serve the Lord. Five short days later, he was given the devastating news of a new cancer, AML Leukemia. It was at Primary Children’s Medical Center that he began to serve a different kind of mission. For the Last 6 months Tanner has been teaching by his soft and quiet demeanor. Tanner seldom used words, but his Christ Like Example spoke volumes. Tanner was able to attend the temple for the first time, during one of his brief stays at home. This was a goal that he has worked toward all his life. During his latest 6 month trial, he never complained and his motto was “one day at a time”. He was known by the hospital staff as Golden.
He is survived by his parents, his grandfather Deloy Hall (Delois) sisters Shayna West (Shawn), and Kaley, favorite nephew Jaxon, his dog Mandy, and his extended family.
He was preceded in death by Grandparents William B. And Peggy Smith, and Wanda Spencer.
On behalf of the family we would like thank the entire ICS staff, Dr Phillip Barnette and the Oncology team for their loving care of Tanner.
Funeral Services will be held at 12:00 noon Friday may 20 at the River Heights Stake Center 600 East 800 South in River Heights. A viewing will be held Thursday May 19 6-8 pm at Allen Hall Mortuary on Center Street in Logan and at The Stake Center Friday at 10:30 prior to services.
Our family will be “FOREVER STRONG” because of Tanner!!!!

funeral plans

We have spent the day making arrangement. There viewing will be Thursday may 19 from 6-8 pm at Allen Hall mortuary of center street in Logan and the funeral will be at the River Heights Stake center 800 south and 600 east. the funeral services will be at 12:00 noon with a viewing prior at 10:30. Internment will be at the Providence Cemetery.

It has been a very difficult last 2 weeks and even more difficult weekend. Words cannot describe the comfort when we read the words of support and encouragement. we Know and understand he is where he is supposed to be. But the emptiness we feel is overwhelming.

We truley appriciate your continued love and prayers

The Smith Family

Tanner passed away at around 7:00 pm Saturday may 14. I will post more at a later date but for now please respect our privacy and communicate only electronically. It has been a long 2 weeks and we are exhausted both mentally and physically.





Love the Smith Family

Not the best news

Tanner has been experiencing severe stomach pain since his exit from the icu, It has be decided he has pancreatitis, typhlitis, and whats called third space, this is where plasma of the blood is leaking out of the vascular system into the chest cavity. Any one of these is not good, but all three is terrible. Fevers, high heart rates and pain have all been hard to control. To heal the pancreatitis and typhlitis this involves no food or liquids since last Saturday, he was finally able to have water yesterday. His pain is a little better today as well.

Now for the worse news, Tanner has to many cancer cells to go to transplant, his body has become immune to the chemo, and is not responding to treatment. They are searching for another out patient chemo that he hasn't received, that his cancer may respond too.

So for now the plan is to get his stomach better and get him out of the hospital to enjoy some sunshine.

Please send your prayers our way, this is critical they find the right drugs for Tanner.
Please be patient with us, This has been extremely hard on our family. We love you and are so grateful for your love and prayers.
Love Kristi

Not great

Tanner is about the same, still in pain and feeling terrible. Had a fever last night so they drew more labs to see if there is any new changes. For now he is to sick to go to transplant. so it's a wait and see thing.
Tanner really needs your prayers and support. This is a very tough time for our family, so please be patient on the updates, we really need to focus on him getting better.
We love you and are so grateful for you
Love to all
Kristi

Out of icu

Just a quick note to let you know Tanner is out of icu and back on the 4th floor room 4421. They are still working on trying to control his pain. He is happy to be back to familiar nurses and routine. They are so good to us here, and take such good care of Tanner. We haven't heard anything about transplant yet, but Tanner has a long way to go to get better from this setback. Hopefully we will find out what the plan is soon. But for now he is settle in and going to try and get some rest.
Thank you for your love and prayers. We are blessed because of you!
And yes there are Angels in the icu!!
Love Kristi

ICU

Things are going ok here in icu. We do not have use of our cell phones, or we are not supposed too. So I will update you from here. Tanner is resting a little better, not great but better. His stomach is very sensitive due to the tiflitis, which is a LARGE open sore in his intestinal track. His back pain is also a little better still not sure if this is all the same related problem. Due to being in ICU and his need to recover from this they will postpone the transplant date about a week is what the Dr's are thinking, we had to postpone radiation for a few days as well, we need to have him as well as possible to go ahead to transplant. Clear as mud??? Ya me too.
This mornig it wasn't clear whether he would need surgery, but as for now, they will give it a few days to see if it will heal itself, his blood counts are all pretty good so they are willing to wait and see, and keep a good eye on him along the way.
His heart rate has been pretty high and they are giving him lots of fluids so that is a concern as well. But we have great nurses and Dr's here watching closely.
Hope that helps, I'll try to keep ya posted if anything new changes.
Thanks for the love and prayers, and please keep them coming.
Love to all
Kristi

Another Transfer

Tanners condition through the night changed to the point that they did a ct scan this morning to check on numerous other things. From pancreatitis to tifflitis. His blood works show numerous things that they needed to check on. The ct showed a major case of tifflitis. Far more severe than he has had before. Just to be safe and ready for things that they were concerned about he was moved to ICU this morning. He is finally resting comfortably, but is on a moderate dose of continuous dose dillotid. So for now all things are on hold, for a few days. So no aspirate today or radiation, however his face paralysis has improved. What we do know is that this needs to heal before transplant.

This is simply one more hurdle to cross in the latest Trial we call life.

A different kind of bus ride

Tanner was released from PCMC on Thursday afternoon after his radiation treatment. He spent the night at the apartment in SLC. He informed us that his back was hurting immensely due to the bed. He came home for the weekend after radiation on Friday. He wasn't feeling all that great but he was glad to be home. We were just happy to have one last weekend together before transplant, especially since is was Mothers day today. When I got up this morning he was sitting in the living room in intense pain. Kristi called the doctors in SLC and talked to them. Kristi took him to Logan Regional to get the pain under control then he was transferred by bus (ambulance) to the ER at PCMC. Dr Barnette happened to be working this weekend and said the possibilities for the problem are compression fractures, kidney stones, or muscle pain from high dose steroids. After an MRI, the results came back negative for everything. So apparently the pain is being caused by the steroids. He was admitted back to our second home at ICS until he gets his pain under control. He is scheduled for an aspirate tomorrow. So pray for good results so he can move on to transplant. It seems that we ought to be due for some good days. It almost seems like days like this has became normal. Someday we will indeed have a normal life again, but for now this is what we have to endure.

As always prayers are felt and appreciated

Robert

Leukemia cells or Virus

That has been the big question, as Robert has posted Tanner has had a problem with paralysis of the left side of his face. To make a VERY long story short it is not a virus but Leukemia cells that have formed a small cluster around a nerve behind his left ear, this is what they believe is causing the problem. This means that he will have to be treated with 10 days of radiation from the huntsman center, they will treat his whole brain.
On the bright side Tanner is feeling well, his counts are good enough to go home, but we have radiation every day, so we are hoping to at least go to the apartment we have down here and get him out of the hospital for a little while.
He will come back on Monday or Tuesday to have a bone marrow biopsy to see if the cancer is at a level we can proceed with the transplant. If so he will begin His last round of chemo to "kill all cells" healthy or not, which is about 5 or 6 days then onto transplant on May 23rd! (Kaley's Birthday)
We really need this to go as planned, so please include Tanner in your prayers.
Thank you
Kristi

Then and Now

It has been a week since the big Rally last week. I wish I could put into words the feeling of seeing about 1000 people there to support Tanner. When I was approached last January about doing a fundraiser of this scale, the initial goal was a few hundred, maybe 300 to 500. As the weeks went by it became apparent to me the level of support that there was. When the day finally arrived and as things were set up, Things just flowed. The whole night went as planned. And the masses just showed up. I simply cannot find the words to describe what I was feeling. As has been posted previously, I add my gratitude to those who made this event possible. The list is extremely long so I will just add mine to those previously.


Now on to the current events, Late Saturday night Tanner had a headache like he has not experienced before. And with that came an event similar to Bells Palsy. His left half of his face was (for lack of better terms) paralyzed. Though not to the extreme that I have seem before. But any thing like this is extremely concerning. They did a ct scan that night. It came back negative. An MRI was done yesterday and showed a bit of inflammation in the area they were looking at. And today a spinal tap to check for anything viral. Ultimately there were a couple of leukemic cells were seen in the spinal fluid.

While this at first thought is extremely worrisome, as well it should be, When Dr Barnett talked with us, he assured us that this will in no way change plans for transplant!!! The game plan now is to do 10 days of radiation. By the time that is finished it will be time to move on to transplant phase. That is of course if the biopsy next week comes back good.

For those who are familiar with the medical terminology, his blood is still looking really good. He actually has an ANC of 500 today, due to the fact he has been doing neupegen injections to stimulate cell growth. There are no blasts seen in the blood. As Dr Barnette explained to us, Nuepegen will stimulate growth of good cells and also the bad. So they have no reason to think he is not in a position for transplant. The last treatment he received the chemo drug, mitazantrin, doesn't penetrate the nervous system and that would explain why this is now showing up.

So there you have it, a different day different plans. This seems to be the norm lately. Some day this will be behind us and we look back and wonder how we were able to endure. The we will remember that it was due to the huge support we get from everyone.

Please continue to remember Tanner with your prayers and Faith

Robert