today has been a pretty usual day here. but then again its been pretty eventful comparing to the last couple days. i guess i will start the way my day did...
i woke up about 6:30 this morning which is pretty much normal i guess, but still a little earlier than usual. not too long after waking up i immediately thought of the date. january 12th. today marks the day i would have entered the MTC to start my 2 years as a missionary. it was a little disheartening for a little bit to say the least and i thought about it for a good couple of hours. then my mom showed up ready for the day. after a little bit i asked her if she remembered that today was the day. of course she did and we talked a little bit and came to the conclusion that maybe i entered my own sort of missionary training back in the middle of november at the start of this. that maybe my mission right now is to be here. the more ive pondered this today the more it makes sense. anyway thats just some thoughts we have had about the big picture.
today was also the first day my blood counts have officially bottomed out so i havent felt all that great. the headaches, fatigue and easily upset stomach, that come with having no counts, are back. these are all pretty easily treated with tylenol and other common medicines. however the good news is being at the bottom, metaphorically and literally, it can only go uphill from here, assuming no infections or other issues arise. (knock on wood...)
the other news we got today was a pretty good idea of what the next few months will bring. our doctor overseeing me came in and was extremely pleased with how well i am coming along with recovery and holding my own through the treatments. with having no immune system whatsoever and considering the circumstances like coming in the hospital back on dec. 31st with fevers and what they were convinced was the flu, that later tured out to be most likely a random fever and a contaminant in the blood culture, RSV which apparently runs rampant in children in the winter months, and many other things that work against someone like me. its pretty uncommon that patients go without infections and unplanned illness. its not easy to explain and seems very backwards at first but since i am doing so well with it all, that makes them more inclined to do more chemo. chances are we will be here another 2 or 3 weeks and they will send us home again for 7-10 days. then when my immune system comes back and assuming its healthy as found before, another round of 8 dayish chemotherapy will begin and the same recovery cycle will follow before we get ready for the bone marrow transplant. basically, as twisted as it sounds im a prime canidate to be through all this treatment and recovery. this is because young, adult males we are told have the highest remission and recovery rate. also fortunately they are starting the process of finding a marrow donor for me. we were also informed today that roughly 7 donors have been contacted and we are waiting for preliminary tests from them to come here to be further tested. this is another reason we still have time for another month long round of chemo. these donors could be from the same state, or as far as another country. the testing and donation revolves around their convenience and schedule so essentially its going to be a few weeks to round everything up. if things go faster than that and the donation comes before we are ready, it can be frozen and stored, unlike say a kidney or heart or other organ that time is vital to. its alot to wrap your mind around but hopefully ive kind of made sense disecting everything we have learned in the last little while. (im not currently on any medication so hopefully it should make sense haha)
thats about what we know and everything thats been happening around here. the motto around here is "no news is good news" so if you dont hear for a while... its all good!
-tanner
Tanner, Wow! I can't thank you enough for updating your blog, I love reading about it and you! You are such an inspiration, your always in my thoughts and prayers :-)
ReplyDeleteGina
I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you to know that you would have entered the MTC. I think your outlook that you have another mission in hand at this point in your life is wonderful. A positive outlook will keep you moving forward. I remember when I my outlook was positive how much easier it made recovering from surgeries and other medical procedures. It can be so difficult to keep your head up and keep moving forward with such difficult trials. I remember lying in a hospital bed after having major back surgery only to have the surgery fail 4 weeks later. It was such a frustrating time in my life. From the age of 13 I had such a rare neurological condition that even PCMC didn’t know how to treat it. After many surgeries I was lucky enough to be involved in an experimental treatment in Arkansas that has finally put my pain into remission. Now looking back on that hard time in my life I now am grateful for how much it has changed my life. After all of this I have decided that I want to go to nursing school and work with other pediatric patients; it is also what led me to want to volunteer at PCMC. One of my favorite quotes from Harold B Lee says “Don’t be afraid of the testing and trials of life. Sometimes when you are going through the most severe tests, you will be nearer to God than you have any idea, for like the experience of the Master himself in the temptation on the mount, in the garden of Gethsemane, and the cross. The scriptures record ‘and behold angels came and ministered unto him’. Sometimes that may happen to you in the midst of your trials.” I hope that you are able to look back at this time in your life and realize how your trials have strengthened you. I love reading your blog and I will keep you in my prayers. I wish you the best of luck!
ReplyDelete~Julie
I totally get your no news is good news! In the cancer world that is so true. One time after one of my follow up visits to Dr. Ben Jacobs he said the same thing... we will call you if it is bad news. Then he CALLED! I was so totally freaked out but he was just calling to tell me the good news and apologizing for not being at my last office visit. I politely said Don't do that again.... stick with the no news is good news. I am so glad you are feeling so well. I really am convinced that keeping your spirit up helps with this whole healing process. I love your writing you have such a gift for that. Must be because you started your years at Ellis Elementary. Ok - here is a funny story. We gave T-shirts to all the kids for Christmas at school out of the pencil machine fund. Amazing what ten years of selling pencils accumulates. Anyways, a new 3rd grade student told his teacher he loved this school and said our principal made all of these shirts for us. That made me chuckle. About the missionary work, you are a missionary through your example and attitude. I was surprised how many of the people who helped my nephew were not LDS. You can spark their interest by being an example of a believer. You continue to be in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteSue